DOWN MEMORY LANE AT THE STAR'S PRESS PHOTO EXHIBITION

Today I spent the entire afternoon checking out two press photo exhibitions. First up was the Star's "Capturing Malaysia Through the Years" press photo exhibition at Galeri Petronas. The selection of photos covers the categories Newsmakers, Arts and Society, Sports, and Conflicts and Disasters.

If you are into photography, or enjoy a bit of nostalgia, head downtown for the exhibition. Here are four photos that should get you interested in checking out the rest.



Enjoying the simple life in his twilight years. Our first PM Tunku pictured here in his favourite rocking chair in his Penang home.(Photo: Lim Hong Leong 1986)

PM Najib (then the Defence Minister) and his wife singing at a dinner to raise funds for charity. (Photo: Michael Goh 1981)

The old Cathay cinema in Bukit Bintang. Queues like this were common for popular movies. We didn't mind the hours of waiting just to get those hot tickets, especially for blockbusters and X-rated movies! (Photo captured from TV screen at the photo exhibition.)

The older ones among us will remember the 1970s when X-rated movies were regularly screened. Those were liberal times. (Photo: Gary Leong)

As the World Press Photo Exhibition was just a stone's throw away at the KL Convention Centre, I decided to check it out too. It was well worth the extra hour I spent there.

This exhibition runs till 12 Feb. Admission is free. It's not often Malaysians get an opportunity to view award-winning photos selected from over 108,059 entries in the world press photography contest 2011. There are nine categories ranging from News to Nature.

I have one complaint though, and I made it known to the staff on duty. Visitors who wanted to watch the recorded interviews with some of the photojournalists had to stand for half an hour in front of the TV set. How difficult is it for the organizers to place a couple of benches there so that visitors, especially senior citizens, can enjoy the interviews in comfort?


Nowhere to rest those tired legs. Certainly not a people-friendly viewing experience.



Jodi Beiber's iconic photo of Bibi Aisha, 18, from Afghanistan. It won the World Press Photo of the Year award. Read more about the story behind the photo at
http://www.worldpressphoto.org/photo/2011jodibieberyear#fullcontext

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IN PRAISE OF OLDER WORKERS

Prof Tommy Koh's article in the Straits Times (7 Jan)

Reading Malaysia's DPM's tribute to retired servicemen in The Star (30 Jan) reminds me of an article Singapore's Ambassador-at-Large, Professor Tommy Koh, 74, wrote in the Straits Times recently. In the article, Prof Koh argued the case for paying re-employed older workers a fair salary based on their performance and experience.

The current practice is for companies rehiring workers after they have reached the retirement age of 62 to pay them only a fraction of their last-drawn salary and offer them fewer medical benefits. The CPF contributions from these workers and their employers are also reduced. This makes re-employment unattractive for older workers. When they opt out of the work force, Singapore loses invaluable manpower.

Dr Choo Teck Chuan, 80

These unfair practices, says Prof Koh, is based on the common assumption that when workers reach the retirement age, they are no longer able to perform as efficiently as before. Not true, and to prove his point, he cites three octogenarians who still put in a full day's work six days a week. They are his dentist Dr Choo Teck Chuan, 80, his tailor Mr Edward Kwan, 80, and his optician Mr Leow Hock Chin, 83. "Their eyes are still sharp, and their hands steady," says Prof Koh.


Mr Edward Kwan, 80

"I don't think Dr Choo, Mr Kwan and Mr Leow are unique cases. Singaporeans now live much longer than they did a generation ago. If they are blessed with good health and are of sound mind and body, there is no reason to stop them from working or to downgrade them to a lower job or to reduce their pay and benefits. Given our manpower shortage, we should have a radical rethink about older workers and see them as assets and not liabilities.

Mr Leow Hock Chin, 83

People should be judged on the basis of their ability and performance and not on age. Those who wish to retire and can afford to do so, should, of course, be entitled to do so. But for others, who are fit and wish to continue to work, they should also be entitled to carry on," comments Prof Koh in the article.

Prof Tommy Koh, 74

"Work gives meaning to life. Work gives a person dignity and self-esteem. It is time for a mindset change. It is time to see our older workers in a new light. It is time for Singapore to recognise people like Dr Choo, Mr Kwan and Mr Leow as assets to our nation."

A round of applause to you, Prof Koh, for standing up for older workers. We may be past the retirement age, but life is certainly not slowing down for us, and we are keeping pace with it. The fact that the Singapore government has raised the retirement from 55 to the present 62, with a view to extending it to 67, proves the point that older people can still contribute much to the work force and to the development of the country.

(Except for lead photo, all photos from Straits Times.)

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HOPE FOR DEMENTIA PATIENTS?

I once asked my mom's cardiologist which diseases doctors feared most for themselves. His immediate answer: stroke and dementia. I had expected him to say cancer.

Dementia is incurable, irreversible and terminal. At least that is what doctors and medical researchers claim. The disease doesn't concern us much until it strikes our elderly parents and they start showing signs of deteriorating mental health.

After my mom was diagnosed with dementia in March last year, I read anything I could lay my hands on about the disease. I now having a better understanding of what it can do to the patient, and can empathize with caregivers of dementia patients.

Prescription drugs only help to slow down the ravages of the disease. Do a search on Google and Youtube and you will be amazed at the myriad of miracle cures for dementia. The video below is one example.



Researchers say the ketones found in coconut oil have slowed the progression of Alzheimer's disease in some people and may actually prevent it. Do you know of anyone who has tried this cure with encouraging results?

A word of caution. This video is posted here for educational purposes only. What works for some people may not work for others. Consult a doctor before experimenting with any alleged remedies.

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NO ROOM FOR REGRETS

My daughter forwarded me this article recently. It's worth sharing, so here it is, with credit to Bronnie Ware.


The article is an extract taken from her book 'The Top Five Regrets of the Dying - A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing'. It is a memoir of her own life and how it was transformed through the regrets of the dying people she cared for.
For more information, please visit Bronnie's official website at www.bronnieware.com or her blog at www.inspirationandchai.com.

Top 5 Regrets of the Dying

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last 3 to 12 weeks of their lives.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

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WAITING IN VAIN FOR VISITORS DURING CHINESE NEW YEAR

You might have seen this Ministry of Women, Family and Community Development ad in the papers over the Chinese New Year. Sure, it's just an ad but it made me think. CNY or any festivals for that matter is a time for family reunion and celebration. Unfortunately, this tradition of family get-togethers to welcome the new year is fast fading into oblivion.

These days many young Chinese see the festive holidays as an opportunity to relax at home, meet up with friends, or go off on a holiday. Those who can afford it will opt for trips abroad to China, Hong Kong, Korea or Taiwan. To them, it's such a waste of holidays and also boring to sit around in their parents' home in some small town, watching TV all day long. If not for the festive decorations and the sounds of firecrackers and lion dances, CNY would be just like any other day.

Jams like this one are common during CNY and other festivals. How many people are returning
to their hometowns, and how many are off to a holiday resort?

With each passing year, fewer adult children are making the effort to 'balik kampung' to visit their elderly parents for the CNY. The thought of getting stuck in horrendous traffic jams is enough to put them off making the trip. So elderly parents wait at home for their children who may or may not show up.

Waiting for visitors (The Sun)

At old folks home, the story is the same. The elderly sit around waiting and wondering if their children will remember to visit them this year. For many, the only visits they get are from various corporations and NGOs. These kind strangers stay for a while till all the photos have been taken and gifts distributed, then they leave, pleased with their good deed and satisfied that they have achieved their CSR objectives for the year.

It is sad that the elderly are often the hapless victims of a society that is slowly losing touch with family traditions and values. But then again, they have to accept some responsibility too. Family cohesion has to be nurtured over the years, starting when the children are still young and eager to learn. It takes effort, patience and persistence to instil family values. And above all, it takes a whole lot of love, not just implicit, but openly expressed and demonstrated through little acts of caring and sharing throughout the children's growing up years. Once firmly established, family bonds are difficult to sever, and adult children will never dream of abandoning their elderly parents.

So young parents, take note. Don't wait till you are in your sunset years and then wonder why you don't see much of your adult children anymore. Perhaps you didn't see much of them when they were growing up, when you were too busy pursuing a career or building a business. When we are strangers to our children, how can we expect care and concern from them in our old age? The two generations are family in name only. When that happens, we have only ourselves to blame.

Tossing the traditional CNY dish of yee sang (raw fish salad) at a family get-together.

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MAY THE WATER DRAGON SHOWER BLESSINGS ON US IN 2012!

This is the year of the Dragon. Not just any dragon, but specifically the Water Dragon. From what I have read, the feng shui experts have warned of upheavals and changes that are not necessarily for the better. But isn't that what is predicted every new lunar year? Ultimately, it's up to each and every one of us to decide how we want the year to turn out on a personal level. It's in our hands whether to believe the doomsayers and be resigned to whatever lies ahead. Or to look at every setback as a lesson learned and an opportunity to grow stronger and wiser.(Pic: My grandson, Max, turns 12 this year, so that makes him our Golden Dragon Boy.)

For those who would like to know more about dragons and what they symbolize, here's a Youtube video to watch.

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MOBILE DEVICES - LOVE THEM, HATE THEM, BUT YOU JUST CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT THEM

At one time it was the home computer that was taking up much of our leisure time. We would spend hours surfing the internet, playing online games or watching videos on Youtube. It was bad enough then, but now mobile devices are replacing the computer as the biggest thief of our time.

The iPhone and iPad have made it so easy for us to get online and get connected that we have lost touch with the real world. Face to face communication or even voice to voice communication is in danger of becoming obsolete. When family members text each other from different rooms or floors of the house rather than make the effort to walk there and talk face to face, you know quality family time is at risk in this household.

The older generation of mobile phones had limited applications, but with smart phones, there are more than enough applications to keep users happily occupied 24/7. Add the iPad, and we have a lethal combination of mobile devices guaranteed to drain the life out of the users. It is not uncommon for people to own at least two smart phones and an iPad, and carry these devices with them everywhere they go. Indeed, the iPad2 has become a status symbol of IT-chic.

The Star 20 January 2012

With wider broadband coverage, we can access the internet and log on to social media sites from almost anywhere. It's so easy to create accounts on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, Skype, Blogs, and LinkedIn, and so affordable to subscribe to online papers and magazines. Small wonder that we spend so much of our free time online.

In the urban areas, the percentages are likely to be much higher.

The worst addicts are Facebook addicts. They come from all ages. Yesterday's edition of The Star quoted a woman in her 50s who said she no longer had normal conversations with her family. She would plan her daily activities around the FB games of 'Farmville' and 'Baking Life'. "I haven't had a good night's sleep in ages as I can't log off till the wee hours of the morning."

Another addict said, "I log on to Facebook every half an hour. If I can't go on FB, I feel uneasy and can't concentrate on my work." He added that it was never that bad till he bought a smart phone.

Admit it - most of us can't live without our mobile devices. Try going for a day or two without turning on your mobile phone or computer. You'll have withdrawal symptoms, and sink into deep depression or utter boredom.

So what's the solution?

Have the will-power to set limits to your online time. Or switch back to older generic mobile devices. Or give away your iPhone and iPad, and go cold turkey.

Otherwise, say goodbye to family time, to relationships and to a life that used to be filled with real friends, activities and laughter, not virtual smiles and pokes.

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